Figuring It All Out

Today is day 6 of being a single mom, and you know what?  I got this!  The first couple of days, I was scared absolutely shitless.  I mean, who wouldn’t be, especially when it was the LAST thing you expected??  Then I found out some things (that I’m going to keep private, thankyouverymuch) that made me decide that there is absolutely no way in this lifetime or the next that I’ll be getting back together with, or trying to work things out with, my ex.  That threw me for a loop for a couple of days, too.

But now, I feel so much more confident in my ability to do this. 

I’m cleaning my house out, from one end to the other.  I’m getting rid of clothes I don’t wear, stuff Nathaniel has outgrown, old toys, and other stuff.  My dad is going to help me fix all of the damage that my ex caused (holes in the walls, doors knocked off hinges), and I’m taking my house back and making it MINE.  Well, OURS, as in me and Nathaniel’s.

And I feel so much more at peace!  I don’t have a sense of dread when I come home.  My anxiety and depression have both lessened SO dramatically.  I’m happy, for the first time in I can’t even remember when.

I can do it!

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